More Spider Stories

As I was reviewing what I had written, I remembered I had more to share about spiders. I can’t believe I had forgotten to add them in. So, have a good laugh at my irrational fear of spiders!

It started when I ran away from home at a young age. I can’t remember now how old I was but, at one point, I was in the woods. I was tired and needed a nap. When I woke up, I was covered in those little tiny innocuous black spiders. It was enough to freak me out and I ran for the nearest telephone and called home. My running away didn’t last long. Not even 12 hours. All because of spiders. Prior to this incident, I had never given spiders a second thought.

Since then, spiders have been my biggest fear. Well, that and my boys falling off a toy or playground set and snapping their necks. I still refuse to let them play on a trampoline in my presence. I just know that they will fall in the middle of the trampoline (not off of it) and snap their cute little necks. I also refuse to let them play on any playground equipment when I am around. I can’t handle the stress of knowing they will do some daredevil little boy trick and snap their neck. It terrifies me; it paralyzes me with fear. Jen takes them to the park.

I read a story (years ago) where a woman was bit by a spider. There were pictures that are burned into my memory to this day. When she eventually went to the doctor, he said he had to cut it open to clean out the wound. When he did cut it open, a million baby spiders crawled out. The mother spider that bit the woman had actually laid eggs in her body as a place to incubate them! Can you imagine the terror and horror of such a thing? I can and it only adds to my spider-phobia!

Back when I was with Mark (ex #1), we had a few fun spider incidents. Well, they are funny now but they weren’t back then. Several times, over the years, he would come home from work to find me sitting on our deck or porch. The first few times he found me like this, he’d ask what was wrong. I would simply point into the house. When he opened the door, I’d point to the ceiling at a black spider. Typically, the story would go like this, “The little bastard was following me around the house! I couldn’t get away from him! See? He’s waiting above the front door for me to come back in!”

He still laughs about that, to this day. Only one time did he find me outside on the porch and it wasn’t because of a spider. I had cooked a delicious dinner and, when I pulled it out of the oven, I set it on a marble “hot pad” I had gotten while in Italy. I’m an idiot. A oven-hot glass pan on top of a marble hot pad will fracture one or the other. When I turned around to close the oven door, the glass pan exploded all over the dining room and kitchen. I sat on the front porch until he got home, crying over such a lovely dinner (I had set candles, the whole romantic works). He went in, tasted a few bits of it, declared it good, and cleaned it all up.

Just a few weeks/month or so ago, we were driving somewhere when Brendan started freaking out. He claimed to have a spider on his cheek. Mark pulled over as fast as he could and I started the whole panic thing. I asked/told Mark to take care of it, I couldn’t – the paralysis had taken over. He got out and walked over to Brendan’s side of Rendy and, before he could even open the door, Brendan really started freaking out. I turned around in my seat, my own seat belt choking me, and started ripping him out of his car seat. Mother instinct took over as I yanked, tugged, ripped and tried to force my son out of his car seat. Mark stood there, trying to help (as asked) and unable to do anything until the boy was out of the car seat. That’s when I finally relaxed and watched as Mark stripped my boy on the side of the road to look for a spider.

No spider was found and we think that his jacket brushed his cheek just right, causing the entire panicky scene. All Mark could say was, “I wanted to help but you wouldn’t let me.” I guess, when push comes to shove, a mother’s instincts to her young take over and spiders be damned.

There was a time that Jen and I were in this new house with the spider infestation. We were looking at my Blood Red quilt on my bed, measuring it to see if it truly was a “queen-size quilt.” Now, typically, when Jen gets scared, she jumps behind me. Several times, Caiden would wake in the middle of the night, popping out to scare us and Jen would dive behind me. There was one time, she accidentally punched her own brother because of this while simultaneously diving behind me. While looking at Blood Red on my bed, I saw a Hobo spider run along the baseboard of my room. I dove behind Jen and freaked *her* out. She had no clue but knew it was bad when I was the one hiding behind her! She still laughs but that was the catalyst to her finally getting her mother to come and spray the magic spray in my room.

I’ve a moderate allergy to fire ants. I’ve been bitten by them several times in my life but they still do not scare me as badly as spiders. A fire ant bite anywhere on my foot or leg will swell that entire leg for days on end but I am not as terrified of them as I am spiders.

I’m allergic to bees. After an allergy test, it was determined that I am deadly allergic to 6 and one half of the 7 types of bee in America. The half-bee is the sweat bee. It causes a mild reaction but it will not kill me. I am cautious around bees but I am not terrified of them. I don’t run screaming because of them. I calmly walk away or let them get tired of buzzing around me and leave on their own.

I’ve been stung several times in my life by a bee. The worst reaction I’ve ever had was when I was pregnant with Caiden. I stepped on a bee and got stung for my stupidity while on the phone with his dad, Mark. I told him what happened and he advised I call his brother who lived roughly 5-10 minutes away.

His brother came to the rescue, driving me to the doctor as fast as he could without breaking any speed limits. He’s a daredevil sort but, when it comes to driving or his children, he’s as cautious as they come. While at the doctor, I started getting hives. From there, the swelling and itching nearly did me in and I started stripping off my shirt.

I forgot Mark’s brother was standing there. Before I could completely remove my shirt, he reminded me he was not his brother and I flushed with embarrassment but the worst part was yet to come. Being pregnant, I had to use the bathroom a lot. I went to do that and ended up throwing up. When you do that, it releases the bowels of a pregnant woman – I ended up partially urinating on myself while Mark’s brother was standing there! I’ve never thrown up because of a bee sting in my life until that moment! Talk about embarrassing the living daylights out of me!

Later on that night, Mark’s brother called him to check on me and to ask him to let me know it was, “ok. Don’t be embarrassed for too long – he understood.” My second-born’s (Brendan’s) middle name is Mark’s brother’s name. Mostly because of that incident. He was very calm and understanding while helping his sister-in-law during a serious time of trouble. Mark arrived at the doctor an hour later – he had driven like a bat out of hell from work to get there.

I had a fear that Caiden would be allergic to bees because of that incident and panicked both times he has been stung. Apparently, despite the other things he’s allergic to, he is not allergic to bees at this point.

None of that comes close to the terror of a spider. And I’ve never been bitten by one.

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Categories: Uncategorized | 4 Comments

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4 thoughts on “More Spider Stories

  1. I lived in Australia For while and they had horrible huge spiders there. Terrifying!

  2. Pamela

    Janelle, please don’t scare her any more!! 🙂

    • Yes. Australia is somewhere I’ll never go! 😀

    • Oh, and someone said they’d checked Snoopes and found out the story about the new spider is not true. I’m too chicken to research for myself. 😉

      However, same question applies. 5-Days. 😉

      Naia.

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