Captivating

I just clicked post with my writings on the jewelry bag and it came up with the edit screen we are all used to. I took a good look at mine and realized – I have a hundred followers!

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We shared your post with 63 WordPress.com followers, 20 Twitter followers, and 17 Facebook friends.

How cool is that? One hundred people receive my email (or other notification) when I post something. Oh, I’m sure others have far more than I do. I know that some of the people who follow me are spammers. That’s ok! The ones that read and comment/like and see me are the ones I appreciate.

Keep reading! I like when my words are read. I don’t know if they are always liked, of course, but I do enjoy that people see me.

Isn’t that just like a woman, though? I was given a book quite some time back and I read a good three-quarters of it. I moved on to other books and never did finish it. The title was “Captivating” The book description on Amazon says the following:

“Every woman was once a little girl. And every little girl holds in her heart her most precious dreams. She longs to be swept up into a romance, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, to be the beauty of the story. Those desires are far more than child’s play. They are the secret to the feminine heart.

“And yet―how many women do you know who ever find that life? As the years pass by, the heart of a woman gets pushed aside, wounded, buried. She finds no romance except in novels, no adventure except on television, and she doubts very much that she will ever be the Beauty in any tale.
“Most women think they have to settle for a life of efficiency and duty, chores, and errands, striving to be the women they “ought” to be but often feeling they have failed. Sadly, too many messages for Christen women add to the pressure. “Do these ten things, and you will be a godly woman.” The effect has not been good on the feminine soul.
“But her heart is still there. Sometimes when she watches a movie, sometimes in the wee hours of the night, her heart begins to speak again. A thirst rises within her to find the life she was meant to live―the life she dreamed of as a little girl.
“The message of Captivating is this: Your heart matters more than anything else in all creation. The desires you had as a little girl and the longings you still feel as a woman are telling you of the life God created you to live. He offers to come now as the Hero of your story, to rescue your heart and release you to live as a fully alive and feminine woman. A woman who is truly captivating.”

Read that. Read it again. Do you understand? Do you get it? Women, at their very basic nature, just want to be seen. They want a father that notices them and praises them. They want a husband who spends all of his time focused on her. She does things to be seen. She does things to be noticed. These are the things the book discusses and, guess what? They are all true!

Quoting from my memory of reading the book:

“A little girl will do anything for her father’s attention. It’s her nature to get this man to notice her, praise her and tell her she’s special and beautiful. When he does, her world opens and she flowers.

“A young lady will do anything for the notice of the boys in her life. She’ll flirt, she’ll tease. She’ll dress up and play with make-up just so a boy will notice her. It’s her nature. It’s the way she was made. When that boy does notice her, she gives him her all.

“A new bride will do anything for the notice of her husband. She’ll tend house, cook and bake up a storm just so he’ll notice and praise her. She wants his entire being focused on her. When he notices, her world opens and she flowers.”

Take away any of those things and the girl crumbles. She falls apart. She doesn’t know what to do and she starts getting desperate for attention. Anything would suffice – as long as some sort of attention is given to her. This is often where girls “go wild.” I’ve been there – for whatever reason – and done many things (that I probably shouldn’t have done) just to get noticed.

A lot of times, a girl is taught that, to seek attention of herself, is a bad thing. When she goes too far or does too much just to get that little bit of attention, she gets swatted down for it. This is detrimental to her well-being. She needs to learn the safe and good way of seeking attention or she ends up going too far.

I write to be noticed. I write because I want to be seen. I want my story told and, some day far in the future, I want my boys to know me. Who I am, who I became, what I thought and felt during the days when they were too small to understand such deep thoughts.

I quilt because I like to create beautiful things and I enjoy when people tell me that I made something special. Ex #1 (Mark) has always been enthusiastic when I’ve made something for him. It becomes his one and only blanket and he’ll drag it around behind him like Linus. That does worlds for my woman’s heart. My children do the same thing. When I make something, they snatch it and claim it as theirs.

I hate giving my things away. Once I do, they are gone. Why, though? Mostly because I want to keep them and show them off to everyone – hoping to be noticed and praised for my work with a sewing machine. Sometimes it is simply because I can’t bear to part with something I made that turned out so beautiful.

I’ve made a lot of changes the past year. I’m a work in progress and will be until the day I die. One thing I learned from this book is – instead of seeking the male attention here on earth, I should be focused on seeking the approval and notice of a heavenly Father. The One that notices and sees everything. The One that made me who I am and is waiting for me to notice Him. This One sees all the girly aspects of who I am and praises every success; cries for me over every failure.

It’s time to put away the desire for the men of this world to see me and focus on someone else noticing me for the good I do. I’m not interested in ever being married again. I’ve screwed that up plenty of times. I want to focus on my children and my own mental, spiritual and physical health. I want to focus on becoming the best me, the best mom, friend and person that I can. Then, and only then, will I finally find the peace that only God can give.

Do you do the same? Do you work your tail off to show you’re worthy and important? Do you crave the attention that busting your butt can give you? Do you spend hours on the wrong things (like a job) that take away from what matters? Don’t get all uppity about this. I know some have to work or not have enough to live on. I’m talking about those who consistently put work/job praise and recognition above and beyond the simply beauty of being a mother (or father) who is accessible and ready to tend, care for and please those in her little family.

My two little people with those huge hearts they have love me for who I am and constantly seek to please me. They want me to notice them and all that they do. If I were busy with a job (or quilting/reading/computer games/Facebook/whatever), I am not accessible for them to receive the praise from. Making time to notice the little bits and pieces of their lives is what helps them to grow into wonderful young men.

I’m very glad God didn’t give me a daughter. I’m quite sure I’d mess that up something fierce. They demand so much – as is their true and correct nature – and I’m sure I’d fail miserably on that. My boys are simple to please. They are little men. Give them a warm, full-belly experience and they shower love and kisses on their mother constantly.

That’s today’s thought. What say you?

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Categories: Religion | 1 Comment

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  1. Pingback: War Games | Living the 1950s

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