Will Wonders Never Cease?

I was feeling really low today. It seemed like everything was hitting me all at once and I didn’t see a way up. I saw no light at the end of the tunnel I’m in and I was at the end of my rope. Use whatever cliche you must, but understand, I was *done*. I spent the morning writing and, when I could handle no more, I came home and told Brendan that all mommy wanted was some cuddling time. That’s it. Being 4 years old, cuddle time doesn’t last long with him and we got up and started moving around. Right about the time they left to get Caiden from school, I got slammed again. This time, with a phone call from my attorney. It wasn’t pretty.

It was at that exact moment when the end was near. I was to the point of no return. I texted my friend Meg, a jumbled mess and I’m surprised she understood me and she started telling me to do one thing, then another, then another. It reminded me of a time when my dad would tell me there’s always a way and a path. Just put one foot down and then put the other foot in front of that one. I was, quite literally, laying in bed with my pillows covering my head this afternoon, in between texting Meg.

Eventually, I would climb out of bed and start doing one thing which lead to another and eventually, I was sitting at Shari’s, eating dinner with the change in my pockets (which is all we had left), typing inventory into one computer and processing a video that I’d been paid to create on the other computer.

And then I got a phone call. A friend of roughly 6 years needed computer work of a sort from me and was wondering if I was interested. The pay was enough to repay friends who had helped me financially and give me a few dollars in the bank to survive until ex #1 got paid and/or my fiduciary came through with my allowance. The Nanny and I actually begged her mother to take her shopping yesterday so we could have the basics to get by for the week.

I ran over there to talk to her and set things up the way she wanted and I left there with money in my pocket. Mind you, it’s a check, but a check can be cashed, moms can be repaid and live can go on. In the midst of all that, I got a distraction from my woes and a reason to keep pushing forward – a new job to do. A small one but a job, nonetheless. A reason to keep pushing forward.

As I said on my Facebook wall, “Thank You, God and please, let me be worthy of what You just did for me.”

Categories: Religion | 8 Comments

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8 thoughts on “Will Wonders Never Cease?

  1. Hey you,

  2. Hi Naia. I had to write you a comment because from what I read you I think you are in a bad moment. I know what that’s like because I’ve been there. I also realized at the title of your blog “Living the 1950’s”. Well, when a person has suffered a crisis lately always think “passed times were better” but not really well especially since you have not lived in the 50s but your childhood was in the ’70s. 🙂 For some people were saddest times and now are fully happy. So when re-running bad and they will remember not the chilhood by example, so that it is independent in each. You just have to live the present and “step by step” because “the past is past” and We can not go back so it’s best to live in the present and build it again. An anecdote: You know what helped me? See the LOST series, all seasons, but realizing the great philosophical information it contains. Yes! Helped me to understand that “never take anything for granted,” and we must live in the present because “past is past” and anytime things change overnight. Hugs. 🙂

  3. Hello. Thank you for reading and commenting. I do appreciate comments!

    As for living in the past, I’m not necessarily doing so. What I’m doing is modeling my life after the values of the 1950s. Changing what I have been doing because, obviously, it wasn’t working and things weren’t getting anywhere good.

    Other that that misconception, I do appreciate your comments and, while I don’t do a lot of television, I might check out this series you’ve mentioned.

    Thank you again,


  4. Hi Naia,
    I once wrote a poem about this sort of thing. I thought, perhaps, you might like to see it:

    “A brave spirit struggling with adversity is a spectacle for the Gods”

    It is not in the glare of glory
    When the crowds are at your feet,
    Or the city’s bells are pealing
    As you mount the victor’s seat.

    All that is but a passing show;
    A fleeting flash of light;
    A rain-drop glistening in the sun,
    A shooting star at night.

    True greatness lies in what’s not seen,
    And all that no-one knows;
    The long, dark years of ceaseless toil,
    The pain that never shows.
    The loneliness and misery,
    The heartaches and the fears,
    The waiting and the trait’rous doubts,
    The constant wearing cares:
    The agony of hoping
    For a dawn that never comes,
    And the mocking face of failure,
    And rejection’s down-turned thumbs.

    There reigns the greatest glory,
    Though roses are not flung:
    In valleys where the sun ne’er shines
    And victories are not sung.

    Kindest regards,

    • Thurstan,

      What can I say but, “Wow!” You’ve stated things beautifully and given hope at the same time. I appreciate you sharing this with me and will treasure it, always.

      Thank you,


      • Dear Naia,
        I did reply to your comment a little while ago, but as it doesn’t show up anywhere, I’m thinking that perhaps I did something wrong and it wasn’t sent – I’m still feeling my way around on this blogging business!.
        Thank you for your kind remarks – I’m so glad you liked the poem. Hope to hear from you again sometime.
        Kindest regards,

      • Hello, again!

        Thank you and welcome to the blogging world!

        🙂 Naia.

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