You Find Out…

Tracey Lawrence – You Find Out Who Your Friends Are

Run your car off the side of the road
Get stuck in a ditch way out in the middle of nowhere
Or get yourself in a bind lose the shirt off your back
Need a floor, need a couch, need a bus fare

This is where the rubber meets the road
This is where the cream is gonna rise
This is what you really didn’t know
This is where the truth don’t lie

You find out who your friends are
Somebody’s gonna drop everything
Run out and crank up their car
Hit the gas, get there fast
Never stop to think ‘what’s in it for me?’ or ‘it’s way too far’
They just show on up with their big old heart
You find out who your friends are

Everybody wants to slap your back
wants to shake your hand
when you’re up on top of that mountain
But let one of those rocks give way then you slide back down look up
and see who’s around then

This ain’t where the road comes to an end
This ain’t where the bandwagon stops
This is just one of those times when
A lot of folks jump off

When the water’s high
When the weather’s not so fair
When the well runs dry
Who’s gonna be there?

You find out who your friends are
(yeah, yeah)
You find out who your friends are

Run your car off the side of the road
Get stuck in a ditch way out in the middle of nowhere
(Well man, I’ve been there)
Or get yourself in a bind lose the shirt off your back
Need a floor, need a couch, need a bus fare
(Man, I’ve been there)

Man, I’ve been there
Oooh yeah.

The song came on the radio today. It’s an old favorite of mine and I reckon it always will be. Today I was reminded of something that happened a while back. A friend of mine, younger in years by more than half, had her car break down. She called me, all hysterical and weepy, and I ran out the door to help her. On the way there, I called my mechanic (a friend) and he said he would meet us immediately. When I arrived, I asked if she had spoken to her parental unit and her words about what happened when she did weren’t good. It was hard for me to swallow that the parental unit had said those things to her but I put it aside and helped her the best way I could. The mechanic and I got her back on the road and went our own ways. I sent her home to talk to the parental unit and figure things out.

I’ve done that on more than one occasion and I never ceased in my attempts to make sure she never gave up on them. Parental units may seem to do stupid things at times, but they are not typically trying to hurt their children. I know that more now than I ever did before I had my own children.

In my opinion, being a friend means jumping and running when a friend needs help. It means giving your everything, if at all possible, and helping that friend to the best of your abilities. Trying to do for them what you would ask them to do for you when the time came. I’ve tried to live that way and ask any of my own friends to do for me and mine.

Later on, it was said (by a former friend) that, by running to her rescue when the parental unit wouldn’t, I was trying to break up a family. Before this judgement was passed, the former friend didn’t even ask me what was going on or what had happened. She didn’t care to know that the said parental unit was at a ball game and refused to leave and help the daughter. That, to me, is not a friend. She judged and sentenced me without hearing what happened and what went on that night, blaming me for the daughter and parental unit for their problems.

What’s the point of this? More work and introspection on my ability to refrain from judging and be a “friend.” Judging doesn’t just hurt the one that was judged. It also hurts other people attached to that situation.

In my judging of the women at the retreat, I didn’t just hurt them. I initially hurt my ability to enjoy myself and get to know them – befriend them. I nearly lost it all when I refused to see them as they presented themselves and instead decided they must be like “every one else.”

In my judging of the women at the Quilt Guild meeting, I didn’t hurt them. I hurt myself and the possibility of befriending someone who may be the one to work with me to better my craft, my hobby, my heart’s desire. I have to go back next time and I have to be friendly, accepting of the “judging” ones and seek out the good ones. Let them see who I am – my willingness to learn and grow as a quilter.

How many of us are guilty of that?

So, I set aside everything that happened. All the words spoken to me about beginner’s classes and whatnot. I have to take it as it is and move on. I have to stop the judging and let them to their own. It’s not my job to fix people or make them see the truth. It’s my task in life to live as godly as I can. If I fail, it is my task to make it right. Not theirs. They live their lives according to their beliefs and I live mine.

So, I’m at fault and I make apology for judging everyone at the Quilt Guild meeting for the actions of one person. I am at fault and need to correct myself without worrying about telling others they need to correct their actions.

Thank you for listening,

Naia.

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Categories: Religion | 5 Comments

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5 thoughts on “You Find Out…

  1. A mindset I have developed that gives me a lot of peace is to assume ( wildly at times lol) that everyone likes me and is thinking nice thoughts until they prove otherwise. It gives such peace! The world seems a happier nicer place. I am so much happier. When someone makes it clear they are not nice or inclinded to be friendly or whatever I just avoid them and continue with my previous mindset. As for friends. I have one *real* friend/person, he is such a rock in my life, a real gift but he is the only real one. It took me a long time to accept, I married him of course. 🙂

  2. Your ex 1 seems quite rock like 🙂

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